vanillain | WW - Catchall post with Katou

Anybody who's attractive enough seems to be crazy, and I don't trust any of them to not be demons.

No kidding. Where did the Lady even pick up these clowns...?

I'm not questioning the Lady, but I'll sure as hell question them.

Seriously, my apocalypsing days are over and all, but I can't really blame the mad murder couple for wanting to burn everybody down and start over.

[This is possibly the first time he has even mentioned apocalypses]

Wait, what's this about apocalypses?

Oh, before we got hitched it was my destiny to destroy the world. Had a nice little group going, used to plant seeds of evil in people and all that.

[handwave, handwave]

[ He opens his mouth and closes it several times before he manages to get anything out. ]

.....Did I ever tell you that my body is made of plants?

[ This is probably also new. ]

You serious?

...What kind?

I don't actually know. Someone else made it.

Maybe I could figure it out. I don't have my powers anymore, but I was majoring in botany.

You think so? Oh, I'm curious now.

It's worth a try. Maybe Kimblee's place will have some lab stuff we can use.

That place, huh.... Let's check it out.

It's a date.

[a beat]

But whatever we find, we're not making a meth lab.

What?! Why not?

Because it's pure poison! Why can't you just get drunk and smoke weed like a normal person?

If you have to ask, you've never tried it.

I haven't tried it because I'm not putting all those fucked up chemicals into my body!

Your loss.

I'm serious! I'm drawing a line! No meth, no crack, no going to the shrinks to raid their medicine cabinet! I'll grow you some mushrooms or something!

...what about heroin...

Can we dial it down to opium?

[ He frowns. ]

It's not the same.

What's the big deal? If you have mushrooms to keep you tripping balls and weed to keep you not hating the fucking universe, why does a person even need more than that? At that point you've already self-medicated away the entire human condition!

Look, different drugs can make you feel different ways, right? Mushrooms are good for one kind of experience, and it's a hell of a lot of fun, but... like, heroin for example. It's the most amazing feeling ever. It's... so warm. Just the most amazing, intense feeling of happiness you've ever had.

If that's what you want, couldn't we just fuck?

[ He snorts lightly, a smirk playing on his lips. ]

That's an entirely different kind of happiness. I wouldn't say no, though.

WW - Catchall post with Katou

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